Fucking Shiva

For those of you unfamiliar, Shiva is one of the three most important gods in the Hindu religion. Essentially, his role is to destroy the universe in order to re-create it. It is believed that this divine process makes way for crucial change, by eradicating the illusion of stability or perfection.

To be clear, I don’t claim to be an expert in the Hindu belief system. I just remember reading briefly about Shiva when I was younger, and the concept really resonated in me, because of how many times I’d personally witnessed or experienced some version of this gritty and necessary process of transformation.

This piece was written in my car as I sat parked under the full moon, reflecting on the amount of suffering in the world: my own personal battles, so many of my friends struggling, so many humans facing unimaginable circumstances, so many reasons to feel defeated. I’m not a very religious person, but the first thought that came to my mind as I stared up at that full moon was, “fucking Shiva musta had a part in all this“.

Anyway, I hope this piece instills a sense of hope and resilience in your Heart, when you need it most.

---

It is a swirling pit of uncertainty
It is littered with despair and doubt
It is a looming sense of inadequacy
It is a dry taste in my mouth
It can never be named in all its forms
It will never be severed from me, or torn
It is a unifying pain
    these soul-defying chains
       that lead me to the place I’m born

It lingers behind every doorway,
    even where the light blares through
It questions my every forward movement
    covers up my footprints new 
It clouds upon my sunny days
    taunts me with its deepened gaze

. . . until I face it

Shadow to shadow; truth to truth
I feel powerless and seduced

. . . until I realize

Its weakness is defined
Its tenure is temporary
Its lifespan resides
    only in the day before me.

So . . .

I will not give it a comfortable life
I will only face this day with might
I will wake up fighting
I will shine my Light

And surf that swirling pit
And quench that cottoned mouth
And make peace with my Shiva
For he is here to destroy me
…so that I may experience growth

Photo Credit: Saugat Kafle

---